When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary to depart this earth (as everything is temporary, after all) it is of benefit to one’s family and friends to leave behind memories, stories and any thoughts that may seem important to relate. Benjamin Price thought this would be a good thing to do, as did his loving wife, Mary. And so, welcome to this small slice of the life of this endearing 91 year-old man who was obviously a man of quiet intelligence. Arthur Ashe seemed to have described Benjamin when he said, “True heroism is remarkably sober, very undramatic. It is not the urge to surpass all others at whatever cost, but the urge to serve others, at whatever cost.” To his family and friends, Benjamin Price is a heroic man.

It was a lovely day when Benjamin first talked about his life. Sunny and warm, (it was September 15) the beauty of the grounds and façade of the Botsford Continuing Health Center in Farmington Hills was a delight to the eye. It is apparent, when walking through the halls, that this is a most pleasant, quiet, peaceful and inviting place. While sitting in his wheelchair by the window where he can often be found, watching people come and go, Benjamin spoke about things he remembered. He especially was anxious to talk about his family, his health and his career in the Navy.

The ready smiles that preceded his thoughts were not diminished when he talked about his hearing problems. Benjamin apologized for his difficulties, cautioning that people did not need to speak louder. He emphatically stated that he could hear, but more than once would say “I can hear everything you say, but my problem is to understand what you say”. Benjamin revealed his thoughts and memories, with assurance that these were what he wanted others to know. But because he was anxious to have more stories included in his memoir, Benjamin hoped his wife and his daughter could help, stating “I have a wonderful daughter. I wish you would talk to my daughter and my wife – they could tell you things I can’t remember. They probably could tell you something that I’ve forgotten”.

Mary Price, at the family’s two-story single home on Pasadena Avenue on the west side of Detroit, enthusiastically talked about her husband and their family. And so, Benjamin ’s story, as it unfolds here, is a combination of memories from both husband and wife.
Benjamin has one daughter, Barbara Palmer, who is Vice President of Human Resources at Botsford Hospital. Her husband is a teacher and she has two sons who are pilots. Benjamin is extremely proud of his daughter, and proud of the fact that she was willing to take his advice about a job situation on one occasion. He said she listened to him, and it made him feel good. He repeated often that “Barbara is a wonderful girl”, and that if it weren’t for his daughter, he wouldn’t be ‘here’ today. He also proudly stated that “She’s helped me – she does everything to try to make me happy. She’s a big blessing to me. She’s so good – she works for the hospital.” Benjamin also thought it was important to inform that Barbara has seven more years to retirement, and her husband has four more years, and that he doesn’t question them about their business, that he doesn’t have to, and “that makes me feel good”. He had a son, named Benjamin , Jr. who sadly passed about three years ago. His son retired from the air force after 20 years and lived in Delaware. Benjamin offered, “He was a good boy” who raised four sons (who don’t live in Detroit).

Mitch Albom wrote a book entitled “The Five People You Meet in Heaven”. It’s a story about a man who met people in heaven who changed his life when they were on earth, though they might have been strangers to him, and though he may have been unaware of them at the time. Here we have an earthly story about Benjamin Price who didn’t know that the girl who knew him when she was a young teenager in Griffin, Georgia would some day in later years be his wife, and therefore change his later life and bring him much happiness.

Their story starts in Atlanta, Georgia. They both moved, at different times, to Griffin, Georgia. Benjamin ’s first marriage was brief and ended in divorce. Mary had a boyfriend named Arthur Booker, Jr. She knew who Benjamin was, (though she didn’t know him personally) because he drove a truck, delivering wholesale groceries to Arthur’s mother’s restaurant and because Arthur and Benjamin were very good friends in Griffin. Mary had a friend, also named Mary (Emma was her middle name) with whom she worked baby-sitting (on the Macon Road). When Mary Emma told her that she was going to marry Benjamin Price, Mary commented how handsome Benjamin was. Mary says today “You couldn’t miss him. He was a very handsome man – he had beautiful black hair – oh my God – he was real slim – girls would look at those boys!” And, soon after, another marriage took place. At 17, Mary married her Arthur.

This story is filled with coincidences! They all moved to Detroit, to find work. And, they lived in the same house on the east side in apartments with kitchenettes in a building owned by Mary’s sister-in-law. Benjamin , Jr. was 10 years old when he came to Detroit, and Mary, who was still young, said she used to play ball and skate with him. Later, Barbara was born to Benjamin and Mary Emma, and Mary and Arthur eventually had 3 children, one girl and two boys (Angie, who has 4 children, Arthur III, who has 4 children, and James [Jose], who has 1 child). They of course all knew each other, and Barbara played with Mary and Arthur’s children. And Mary relates that she was the first person to let Barbara get dirty when she was a little girl. Barbara’s mother had just given her a bath, and Mary had taken her out into the back yard, and instead of the red dirt that they were used to in Georgia, Barbara had played in the dirt of Michigan – which resulted in a second bath!

Both families were friends with each other. The two Mary’s and Benjamin and Arthur socialized with each other. They went to the Paradise Theater together! And together they went places with their children. One time when Mary (Emma) had the flu and was not feeling well, she was not able to cook dinner. Coming home from church, Mary just went into the kitchen, put on an apron, and cooked dinner for both families. They laughed about it. It was a natural thing for her to do.

And so life went on, and everybody got a little older, and illnesses took their toll on the families. Mary remembers one time when Arthur was ill and she had to take him for treatment to Ford Hospital. On the way home she visited Mary Emma and Benjamin . This particular occasion was memorable because Mary Emma was ill herself, and yet she still made a pot of soup for them all.

Arthur became gravely ill, and had to be placed in Hospice. Soon Mary Emma succumbed, and then Arthur. The survivors of these two close families were Mary and her good friend Benjamin.

When the timing was appropriate, Mary began to introduce Benjamin to people from church. She also introduced him to her daughter’s mother-in-law, and to her next-door neighbor, both widows. On one occasion Benjamin invited her and her next-door neighbor over to his house for a seafood dinner.

Benjamin often said, “If you need me for anything, call me”. So Mary accepted his offer one day. It was income tax time, and the parking was difficult at the place Mary had to go to get her taxes done. She asked him if he would be able to take her, and he graciously accepted. When they got home, Mary invited her good friend to come in. A friendly invitation! And when he asked, “Can I come back to see you?” she said, “ANYtime”. Mary said she was not even thinking about “me and him”!

As time went on, Mary asked Benjamin to come to her church with her. She would also visit his church with him. And when the day arrived that Benjamin asked her to marry him, she revealed, “It scared me to death!” Mary was very shocked, and told him that she couldn’t give him an answer at that moment. It had been three years since his wife had died, and it was not very long after her husband had died. She never dreamed that her husband would pass away and that she would some day marry Benjamin , the Benjamin she knew in Griffin, the Benjamin who was her friend’s husband and the Benjamin who was her husband’s good friend, and eventually hers as well.

When Mary said ‘yes’, they traveled to Delaware to tell Benjamin , Jr. The children in both families were not strangers to each other, and so the marriage became acceptable to all. In fact, Mary said, “My kids are crazy about Benjamin !” And Mary exclaimed, “I married my friend!” The year was 1989 when Benjamin married his second Mary who moved into Benjamin ’s house and rented out the house that she had owned. To avoid confusion between their names, Benjamin calls her ‘Magdalene’, her middle name.

Life was good. The children were all grown, and the Price’s traveled often, visiting children in the various cities they had moved to. Benjamin says, “It’s still a happy marriage”, but the problem is that he can’t live at home anymore as he needs too much care, and Mary now has health problems that preclude her from helping him. He worries about her, as she has asthma, which she also had as a child, and she has rheumatoid arthritis. Lately she has been going to physical therapy twice a week as she hurt her shoulder while reaching for a pot when preparing to cook dinner. But Mary is definitely not a complainer--she takes the bad days along with the good days. She believes in enjoying life, whether reading a book or drinking a cup of coffee. She still smokes, saying, “I don’t let anything rule me – I’m the boss”. She notes that though Benjamin quit smoking a number of years ago when he swallowed some smoke that ‘strangled him’; her smoking now doesn’t bother him.
Benjamin had numerous health problems that deteriorated, eventually causing him to be placed in Hospice, in his home. He was very upset about it at the beginning, but Mary had a big party for him at the house and he accepted it. Amazingly, however, he got better – he was able to go downstairs and to rest on the porch, and he was eventually removed from hospice and received home health care instead.

Circumstances have a way of changing things. There was an accident in the house. Prior to this occurrence, Benjamin was able to move around with a 3-prong walker. He even was able to manage the stairs alone. Mary had put a high stool on the landing so they both could sit and rest, if they needed to. But one day, Benjamin fell all the way down, from the very top, landing with his head hanging over the bottom step. Mary thought he had broken his neck! An ambulance came and took him to the hospital on a board, stabilizing his neck. Miraculously, it was determined that he had no broken bones, though he was very sore from the fall. He was placed at Heartland Health Care Center for rehabilitation. Both legs became extremely swollen. And it was decided he needed to be in a nursing home, at which time he was moved to Botsford Continuing Health Center, back into Hospice.

Benjamin seems to be comfortable in Botsford. He said, “As the time passes, I’m not getting better. I can’t go home because I can’t climb steps. My wife is sick and is not able to help me. She’s not able to lift me (I can’t even get in and out of bed by myself), and I am not able to do anything for her. Right here is the best place for me. I’d like to go home, but in my condition, since I can’t do anything for myself, it wouldn’t be too good”. He talked about his health, about a serious problem with his eyes when he was young, about how he feels living with pain, and how he feels about death. But the problem that he said was the worst part of his life at the present time was certainly a surprise, considering all he’d been through!
In talking about pain he declared that “I don’t have pain all the time, but I do have some rough days. It hits me in my stomach.” But he said that when he wakes up from a nap or a night’s sleep, the pain is gone. He did hurt himself one time when he forgot to lock the wheels of his chair, and fell when in the bathroom. And he was concerned about his legs, pointing out how swollen they are. Although they don’t cause pain, he said they feel as if they weigh 100 lbs., and sometimes he can’t lift them off the floor. He said he can’t get in and out of bed by himself, and can’t put on his own shoes and socks. His inability to be independent was definitely “not a good feeling “. But he stated emphatically that it was his wife and the children who made him feel better by telling him that they wanted him to be satisfied, and that they would agree to whatever he wanted.

Dying was a subject Benjamin willingly discussed, saying, “I do believe there’s a heaven somewhere. As the days pass, I wonder what’s going to happen to me. You never know. I prayed to ask the Good Lord to help me”. Benjamin opined that all his people were dead and gone, and that his wife, children and grandchildren were all that were left. He said he knew that they would miss him, but that “that day is coming, and not fast enough for me”. He talked about the Reverend who comes every week to visit him, and who asks him how he feels about dying. Benjamin told him that he feels “good” about dying, and that he believes that he’ll be better off. He also believes that death “will come my way in the right time”.
Benjamin ’s surprising statement, the problem that was and still is the worst part of his life, the hardest thing he has to take, is: no seasoning in his food. Food is very important to him. When he was asked if he had any hobbies, he smiled and said, “I like to eat good”. He also relayed the wish that “when I die, I want to die full – I don’t want to be hungry”. There would often be a big discussion with Mary about what his next meal would be, after which she would “cook up a storm for him”. He likes well-seasoned fried food – deep-fat fried chicken, fried pork chops, and just about everything that he is not supposed to eat. One of the great joys of his life, when he was well, was to take the supermarket newspaper ads and decide where to go to get the best sales on groceries. He would go five miles out of his way to get a bargain. He saved coupons, and liked to shop at Sam’s Club and Costco.

Benjamin ’s eyes caused him to miss a great deal of school when he was young. He said he had cataracts, and that his mother, who “tried her very best to make something out of me, to raise me to the best of her knowledge”, had to take him to the doctor every day to tape both of his eyes. He said he was blind, and he had to eventually quit school in the 8th grade. When the bandages were taken off, his vision got better every day. He said he can see, but he can’t read or watch TV for long stretches of time. Even though he didn’t finish school, Mary said he is very intelligent, as well as being very good in math, with the ability to do calculations in his head!

There were difficulties in his recalling happy times as a youngster. Benjamin smiled when trying to remember, saying, “That was a long time ago”. He did say that he was happy with his life as it turned out, even though “you can’t expect every day to be the same”. But there are activities in his recent past that have given him pleasure. For example, Mary reported that he thoroughly enjoyed listening to church programs on TV and radio-the music pleased him enormously. When she was questioned about his ability to hear these programs, she replied, with a grin, “He has selective hearing”, but for Benjamin , this subject of ‘happy times’ applies to thoughts of marriage and family. He believes that as a married man, it is good to have a family “to be with you all the time to help one another.” He emphasized that, to him, this is a blessing. He is extremely happy in knowing that his grandchildren haven’t forgotten him. He talked about how “when people get up in age, and they aren’t able to do anything for themselves, sometimes (relatives) go away and forget about you”. But not Benjamin ’s grandchildren!

Those who don’t live in Michigan call and ask about him, and others visit him. One grandson had been there a few days previous to our visit. And when they do communicate with him, they ask if he needs anything, and he points out that he is comforted by their concern, which makes him very happy as well. In addition, he mentioned that he is happy and thankful today that his house is paid for and that his children and grandchildren are all doing well. He spoke about how, in these days, people are lucky that “their children don’t give them trouble”, and he is delighted that these problems have not come to pass in his family, pointing out that “I raised my children the best I knew how”, intimating that he did a fine job, and repeating again that “Barbara is a wonderful girl”. And when mentioning Mary, he said he told her to get help from the boys, comfortable in knowing that they would be there for her.

In talking about what he did for a living, Benjamin spoke about his driving a truck delivering wholesale groceries in Griffin. He said that not too many people had cars back then and he learned to drive his truck on the job! He remembered what he earned in those days- $1.00 a day, no matter how many hours he worked. That was $6.00 a week, but he said “you could live better on $6.00 than on $25.00 later”! And, gasoline – he remembers when it was $.15 a gallon! In 1943 he came to Detroit to get a better job, to make more money, to make a better living in order to get some of the things he wanted in life. He got a job at Chrysler’s as a machine operator, and worked there for 31 years (and 9 months!). He feels grateful for the opportunity he had in working for this company, saying “I wouldn’t be around today without Chrysler and the insurance “ that came with the job.

The Navy drafted Benjamin shortly after he arrived in Detroit. His job was driving a truck, even though he had told them he was tired of it, and requested that he do something different. He said, “I told them – they didn’t believe me”, but drive a truck he did. The story that this former sailor likes to tell occurred in Great Britain. A large truck hauling big guns had to be loaded on to the ship. The problem was that the dock was long and there was no room to turn it around, so it had to be backed up on to the ship. It was a very difficult job, and ten to twelve men tried to do it, but weren’t successful. Benjamin said, “I believed in myself – I believed I could do it, to help somebody out”. And he did it! As a result, because there was nobody else at the time who could accomplish this kind of driving, and they were headed for Japan, Benjamin was offered a ‘high rating’. He turned it down, because he wanted to go home. He was tired of looking at all that water all day long. When he would wake up in the morning, he would see “the same identical thing”. He was, however, grateful for the experience, because it had given him a chance to see a part of the world that he would probably never have the opportunity to see again. And so he took his Honorable Discharge.

When asked his age, Benjamin proudly stated that he was 91 years and 8 months into 92. He said he never thought he’d live to be 90, and that he’s lived longer than most. He commented that the thought that is on his mind more and more is “What is going to happen to me. You never know.” He said all his people are gone – he’s the oldest one living today. “It crosses my mind quite often – all my friends are dead and gone. I’m the only one that’s living. What is keeping me here? I can’t even walk now. I can’t do anything for myself, and that’s not a good feeling. Look at my legs – so heavy sometimes I can’t put my foot up. Sometimes I can’t turn over in bed. And I can’t climb steps. I had no idea in the world I’d be sitting here today. I don’t want to live to be 100. If you had the problems I have, you’d probably feel the same way.”

In talking about how long he has lived, Benjamin said “Sometimes I believe that in my life I’ve done something to please God to keep me here this long. What it could be, I don’t know. I have tried to be a loving person.” He also believed that he tried to take care of himself the best he knew how, and it seemed to have paid off.

When Benjamin was asked if he would do anything differently if he could live his life over, he laughed and had no hesitation in answering. “I don’t know if I could do much better in this life. Up until this day, I got just about what I wanted in life. I tried to be a good provider. I wanted my wife and kids to have a good home, to be happy and have a safe life. I wanted a home of my own, fixed up like I wanted and paid for, and I got that. I don’t have to worry about owing money. I did everything in my power to make my home happy, and I do believe it was. I don’t know if it had anything to do with my long life or not.”

Booker T. Washington once said: “I have learned that success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which one has overcome while trying to succeed. Out of the hard and unusual struggle through which one is compelled to pass, one gets a strength, a confidence, that one misses whose pathway is comparatively smooth by reason of birth and race.” Benjamin Price certainly is a man who overcame many obstacles in his lifetime - He can be proud of all that he has accomplished.

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